*eff* real life

for those of you who are still kids, stop wishing to grow up....i'm glad i never did  - unfortunately it hits you like a ton of bricks whether you want it or not

it's currently 2 am while i sit here worrying if i can afford to pay all my bills 

i work a full time job

i run animeexchange.com.au

but i have a home loan, car repayments, insurance, registration, fuel, electricity, internet, water, rates.

then there's food....for me, my sister, brother 2 nieces and a nephew who all live with me.  i dont know why i always seem to end up paying the lions share there, i offer to do the shopping on my pay week (fortnightly) and somehow shopping never gets done the other week....but i'll be throwing the towel down on that one tomorrow, shape up or i only buy what i need daily and fuck you all

oh and the giant dog my sister bought but never feeds or walks, and the cat she didnt want anymore and i ended up with

oh the dog? i walk it...no big deal, except the whole spare time and then the fact that im cripple and the dog pulling against the freaking lead nearly bowls me over every 2 minutes, but i can't scold him because he's been abused before so i feel bad for him


OH and i'm paying for all the recent renovations in the kitchen too...i do collect rent from my brother and sister, but no that never seems to actually cover my incoming bills, i sometimes think i'd be better off if i kicked em all out and lived alone.


i get a good bonus from work every quarter (based on my epic performance) but something always comes up....my medical expenses are ridiculous....i spend $100 a month easily on one prescription, but it's for nerve pain so it's an absolute must for me.

sooooo...i really need a holiday but can't afford one....my sister then tuns to me tonight "change of plans tomorrow' (i just wanted to go pick up the only luxury item i have decided to afford myself : loki agent of asgard)  because she's negotiated a large sale for me, over an hour away and i have to go....but the real reason is because she wants to check out an anime store....so what?  well how about the fact she owes me money and is trying to convince me to buy myself an umbreon hoodie, sure i want it but i can't bloody afford it....ill go to towoomba, sell the damn cards, look at her stupid store, remind her i have no money (and nor does she - and if she does she sure as fuck better be giving me the money back) and have to wait til sunday to get the $4 comic i've been looking forward to forever. 

the large sale might cover my bills this week and leave me a little towards my car rego next fortnight cause i sure as eff can't afford that

i've ranted but...meh, i will try my hardest to scan in and put up the pictures i have ready (still missing a bunch since i moved in though)  so maybe i will get the first pics up in over a year....that might help my self esteem a little.  im normally very confident but works been to busy so i haven't gotten my usual 'omg karen, you're so awesome' 's from my co-workers...and i feel crappy cause all my clothes need to be replaced..there's nothing majorly wrong with them but a girl need sto look fresh dammit

anyway enjoy being young and reject change at every opportunity...change is bad

also dont have kids, they suck...like a lot...i dont have em, i just have 10 nieces and 3 nephews and sometimes i am glad i dont have a gun cause i really don't think i wanna go to jail as a kid-killer.